Collection of Funny Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep's

--- Wishful Woman

Now I lay me down to sleep
I sit in bed and here I weep
I wish that he would love me back
But now it's beauty that I lack

--- In a Gun Shop

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord you do not creep.
If you should die because I wake,
I'll explain it to the judge, make no mistake.

--- Fisherman Version

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord for fish to eat.
If I should die before I wake,
dont' let the dog my fishez take.

--- Vodka Version

Now I lay me down to sleep
A bottle of vodka at me feet
If I shall die before I wake
Tell my friends I drank it straight.

Now I Lay Me Parent's Prayer

Prayer for Reliance on God to Practice Daily

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
(Matthew 11:28, NIV)

Freedom comes when you say, “God, I’m turning it all over to You. You know my desires and what’s best for me. I’m choosing to trust You today.”

Daily we need to stop and be still so we can focus on knowing God, and realize His place in our daily lives. First thing in the morning, stop and say, “God, I rest in You. I know You have my world in the palm of Your hand.” Remember, our battles are spiritual battles. The people in our lives aren’t our enemies, the situations in our lives aren’t our enemies; the forces of darkness are. When you choose to be still and know that the Greater One lives on the inside of you, you are saying to the whole world, “I trust thoroughly in God. He is my Defender.” When you choose to believe in Him, you will enter into His rest. So go ahead, and allow yourself to enter into His rest. Remember to use your prayer language.

Our Fears and How to Escape them Through Faith

Click for sales page of this book at Amazon.

"I wish I had great faith." These are words that almost every Christian has said at one time or another. But faith is like a muscle, which must be exercised in order to become strong; just wishing cannot make it happen, but prayer can help.

Christians are to believe God, not only for salvation but for everything. Rather than a spiritual "plateau," faith is actually a process that involves increasing degrees of trust throughout life.

• Little faith hopes that God will do what He says,

• Strong faith knows that He will,

• Great faith believes that He has already done it.

From Victoria Osteen at Facebook.

"Your vision sets your expectations. See yourself blessed, strong, healthy & accomplishing your dreams. Get in agreement with what God says about you and live the life of blessing He has prepared for you!"

Prision Ministry Could Use More Respect: 16 of the Worst Prisions

Form a post at Facebook, I followed this link, and was aghast at the deplorable conditions. It make you more appreciable for prison ministry, and as so, we need to offer our prayers and support for the missionaries, and all involved. Just click on the link to view:

The Worst Prisons on Earth

 

Demonic Oppression/Posession when Drinking

There are several gateways that Satan's angels, his demons, can use to gain access to our body, and cause a big disturbance. A few examples are Ouija boards, hypnotism, drug abuse, Satan worship, astrology, Scientology, and Christian Science.

But I'm writing more specifically about Satanic influences while intoxicated. Most people don't believe that alcohol can release dark spirits. Think about it though, why do they call strong drink spirits? It happens especially when the drinker goes into a black-out, and cannot remember what happened during this time. That's when he can unknowingly tap into, or actually open doors for alien and dangerous spiritual realms.

Go directly to My Story

Releasing the Power of Faith in God

It was all working up to this point in my life, and then it became a reality for me on July 28, 2013. 

 Christianity is all about making improvements in our lives, and one subject it focuses upon, is removing the sins that so easily distract us, those things that produce negative results. From my last post: ...there's been a bunch of days where I felt defeated, experienced discouragement, and got depressed. Would I have been operating in total faith, these experiences would not, and could not happen. But I had conditioned myself to fall back into fear.

Defeat, Discouragement, and Depression - Don't Give Up!

Yea, that's what they all tell you, "Don't give up."

It was back in mid May, when my self-employment work source (I do web design and SEO) came to a screech. It hasn't picked back up yet, and I document that here now - 2 months. I've had a few jobs from prior clients, but nothing to keep me busy. I've had a few ups and downs, but always in communication with God, even if it was only to express my attitude.

The 5 Deadly D's - link to post at blog.precept.org

Funny Church Signs Video from YouTube

Free Unbranded Christian Photos

While doing research for a client who has a free Christian pictures website, I came upon this GREAT website with loads of Free Unbranded Christian Photos.

For links, click on link below image .

From spiritlessons.com, Christian Posters Armor Of God Poster

What Is Forgiveness and Why Do I Need It?

While performing a search on my last post, I came across this write-up from a question at Yahoo Answers: "Does God forgive sins that we continuously repeat?" by REDMAN

The word “forgive” means to wipe the slate clean, to pardon, to cancel a debt. When we wrong someone, we seek their forgiveness in order for the relationship to be restored. Forgiveness is not granted because a person deserves to be forgiven. No one deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is an act of love, mercy, and grace. Forgiveness is a decision to not hold something against another person, despite what they have done to you.

The Bible tells us that we are all in need of forgiveness from God. We have all committed sin. Ecclesiastes 7:20 proclaims, “There is not a righteous man on earth who does what is right and never sins.” 1 John 1:8 says, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” All sin is ultimately an act of rebellion against God (Psalm 51:4). As a result, we desperately need God’s forgiveness. If our sins are not forgiven, we will spend eternity suffering the consequences of our sins (Matthew 25:46; John 3:36).

Forgiveness – How do I get it?

How Does God Deal with Repeated Sins?

I noticed this podcast from Dr. Charles Stanley, "Grace And Continuing Sin - Part 1," and was really curious what his thoughts were on it, as I have a couple of these. I have a great admiration for Dr. Stanley; his teachings are always strong, scriptually sound, and meaningful.

We've all had to deal with coming back to God with the same thing over and over again and wondering, "How long will He keep forgiving for the same sins?" Just how much grace is available to us? Dr. Stanley suggests that if a person is saved, sin cannot terminate her relationship to God. But it can destroy her testimony, fellowship, joy, peace, happiness, and purpose for living. A sinful lifestyle is like a disease and is spread by human nature.

I like how he puts it: No matter how much sin you have, God's forgiving grace has even more. If you sin 10 times, grace (God's unlimited love for us) abounds more. If you sin 1,000 times, grace still abounds more. You cannot out-sin the grace of God. Otherwise, sin could rein over the cross.

Behaving as Myself; Impaired with a Loss of God's Power

Even though we try to cover it up, it's evident to our associations, when we have fallen from God's abundant life style. They may not realize that we're out of touch with God, but they can sense something different about us, usually reflected in our mental state. And most of the time, we don't realize it ourselves, "I'm just behaving as myself, and need to make things right."

Grace means that all of your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame.
…because He has a purpose. A purpose for your hurt, troubles, trials, failures, everything!

Courtesy of  King David, after the Father's heart… grace

A Promise from God - 23rd Psalm Paraphrased

I am your Shepherd
You will never have need of anything that I want for you.
If you will trust Me, and allow Me to be the shepherd of your life,
I will give to you such great peace of mind that it will be like
Lying in the cool green grass of a springtime meadow;
And as you learn to deepen your love and trust,
A quietness will come over your soul.
Like a serene, calm lake.

Christian Funny Pictures for Facebook #3

Wanna Go To Heaven - WHY? Ain't Any Good People There!

This May Shock You but... You Won't Find Good People in Heaven!

I subscribe to Dr. Charles Stanley's monthly magazine and this article was so profound, that I felt the need to share it.

One section goes into depth, "Who is Jesus, anyway?" It expounds on the four possible ways to view Jesus, what He declares, and who He is, in the eyes of the people of the world. One thing He said, in John 14:6 is this:

"I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."

FACT or FICTION? If Jesus wasn't a liar, then that statement holds your afterlife in His hands!

 From In Touch Ministries, How Good Is Good Enough?

The reason good people don’t go to heaven is that there aren’t any good people. There are only sinners. No matter how much good we do, we all have the propensity to do things our way at another’s expense. Yet, as much trouble as our selfishness gets us into, we continue to bow to it. It chokes the love out of marriages. It drives a wedge between parents and their kids. It fuels ambition to the point of self-destruction. After several millennia of human experience, we still haven’t found a way to rid ourselves of this “taskmaster”—what we need is to be saved, or delivered, from that thing that rages inside us. And we need to be forgiven for all the hurt we’ve caused as a result of our sin.

Here I Am, but Who Am I?

I think everyone should do some self evaluation, whether they are Christians or not. You should do this at least bi-monthly. And if you ARE a Christian, then even the more so.

First thing to evaluate, is, "Who am I?" This could lead to so many conflicting issues. But the true answer you should have, is: I am a child of God, saved by His sovereign grace. But yet, admit it - you may not believe this wholeheartedly. Most people, Christians or not, devaluate themselves, myself included.

But still, we all have our daily demands that reflect upon who we are, as we make choices accordingly. Every decision is based upon what we think we are. Who are you?

How to Help your Facebook Friends Find Jesus

Can't help myself - I did a search for - How to "help your Facebook friends" find Jesus - with no results. Tried again with how to help your facebook friends "find Jesus" - see screenshot:

https://www.facebook.com/JesusPlusOrg

Looks like we need better representation - what you think?

Christian Image Messages of Encouragement

We all need encouragement in the Lord!!

I Love Jesus because went VIRAL at Pinterest:

Physical Healing from the Lord Jesus

Courtesy of Free Christian Wallpapers

Used to be that when I would watch TV with my wife, I'd have to have it turned up to at least 32, while she's comfortable with it set at 24 to 28 (at our settings). And it would occasionally irritate her that I had to have it so loud ... at times I couldn't hear it unless it was at 40. It varied with background noise.

And that's what I recently found out about my hearing problem: it wasn't just a lower volume that I was experiencing, my hearing failure was due to background noise interference, commonly called CPS - Cocktail Party Syndrome. "I say, chap wouldn't that be a nick-name for it?"

Whatever they name it, I had that, and have had it for as long as I can remember (which could be 10 years or 60). So for the last 2-3 years, my wife and I have been looking at hearing aid solutions, none of which we could afford. I'd spotted an ad in Popular Science magazine a couple times, and visited their website. Even though they cost less than $800, that was still something way down the road.

So, I am telling my testimonial of this today, after I've proven to myself and my wife, that indeed, my hearing is much better.

It happened during our church worship, about one month ago. It was a very powerful worship as I remember; I could hear the faint voice of God telling me, "Why not? Are you not worthy? Did I receive the stripes in vain, or are you going to exorcize the faith I've given you?" My wife was astounded, and the following Sunday I announced my healing miracle to the congregation.

I am now even more grateful for returning to the Lord, it's been 13 months, now! Awesome things like this is what pushes us towards a greater maturity with God, and builds our faith for other things to come. So, what's next, Lord?

I Can Say It Now, "I Need You More"

It's been a little over a year now, that I've come back to God, and finally I can say that my faith is stronger than I've ever seen it before. I think possibly that God knew I wanted this - to be able to say, "I need You more; I need You more than ever before!" And now I can truly say that I do. It feels good!! And I have a new sense of security. It all came about as I heard this...

(video loops courtesy of pond5)

And after hearing this song, maybe you need Him more, more than ever before.

I Need You More

I need You more
More than yesterday
I need You Lord
More than words can say
I need You more
Than ever before
I need You Lord
I need You Lord

More than the air I breathe
More than the song I sing
More than the next heartbeat
More than anything
And Lord as time goes by
I'll be by Your side
Cause I never want to go back
To my old life

Right here in Your presence
Is where I belong
This old broken heart
Has finally found a home
And I'll never be alone

Christian Funny Pictures for Facebook #2

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; and a TIME TO LAUGH!

Jesus ascending - BRB

Button: God Must Love
Stupid People He Made So Many

God on Facebook with Adam, Eve, Snake